shitbum - the inappropriate folk singer

shitbum

songs by shitbum (mp3)

conversion van               at the end of the day there was nothing but love in our conversion van, until it started to rain and officer craley shined a flashlight in, he said hey kids you can't fuck here, he said hey kids you cant fuck here, no way. so we put on our clothes and decided to go to our to favorite crack house, and be bought some rock, drove around the block just wiggin out, but then it started to rain so we parked the van underneath a bridge, and what do you know, officer craley shined a flashlight in, he said hey kids you cant smoke here, he said you can't hit the crackpipe here, now way, so I opened the door real quick and hit him on his arthritic knees, and he doubled ove rso I kneed him in the face as quick as could be, then we drugged him,and tied him to the roof and parked him in a loading zone, and as we walked away it started to rain and we could hear him moan, he said hey kids you can't park here, he said hey kids you cant park here, no way. . . . .mmm one big eyebrow (uni-brow) i've got one big eyebrow and you say you that don't like it, but you've got hairy nipples and i'm not too crazy about that either, i tell you what, i'll let you tweeze my eyebrow, if you let me wax your nipples. i've got fungus toenail and you hate feet in the first place, but you get them nasty yeast infections and i'm not down with that fungus either, i tell you what, if you paint my toenails, i will apply the gyna-lotramin. thank god we both got chronic halitosis so we hardly even notice, i've got the human papiloma virus and i haven't told you about it, but you've got genital herpes and i'm not privy to that info either, i tell you what, i'll wear these stupid condoms, if you keep getting headaches during outbreaks, thank god we both got hepititis c, cuz it's a serious disease, and i'd hate to think that one of us was guilty. . . wasn't me . . .

what's in the fridge (the masturbation song) well it's late at night and i'm not tired so i smoke myself a 'grit, my bedspread's tangled, my pillowcase's stained with spit, and i may be restless but i'm too lazy to take a walk, so i jerk it to baywatch and wipe it with a sock, oh woe is me i could have been someone, oh woe is me i should have been someone, cuz of out of many, many questions, all i come up with is, what's in the fridge, what's in the fridge, well it's half past three and i'm hungry but i'm pasted to my bed, my room smells like toe-cheese, my remote control just went dead, so now my tv is stuck on espn, but's women's beach volleyball so i spank it once again, oh woe is me, i could have been someone, oh woe is me i should have been someone , cuz out of many, many questions, all I come up with is, what's in the fridge, hope I got like half a quiznos in the fridge or something, well the sun comes creepin slowly and this infomercial hell turns to morning aerobics, so i figure hey, might as well, but then through the window, in my neighbor's house i see, old father shanley with his binoculars on me, oh woe is me, i could have been someone, oh woe is me, i could have been someone, cuz out of many, many questions, all i come up with is, what's in the fridge, what's in the fridge.    i need a job i need a job, i need a job, not no Fortune 500, just enough to get by, maybe get a nintendo and a new neck tie. i need a girl, i need a girl, i aint askin big bosoms, not no PHD mind, just a simple specimen will do just fine. big tits wouldn't hurt, unless she swung'em cross my face, and knocked me senseless, all over the place, guess it's just a chance i got to take. i need a vacation, a big fuckin vacation, maybe to barbados, or someplace like that, maybe i can burn off some of this fat. maybe not, but i'll still be tan, me and my big bosom lady, walkin through the sand, with a new nintendo and a couple grand. what a nifty plan, such a nifty plan.

summer of 97 princess diana, dies in paris, driver was drinking, the paparazzi on motorcyles buzzin around like flies in her face and it aint no co-inky the same thing happened to princess grace, and how will this change my fickle world, and how will i know? and how many summer chairs will fold before I know, they got a sandwich named afterthe pope, with polish kielbasa and slaw of the cole, comes with potato chips and a pickle and some shredded raddichio but you can't return it, it's infalible, and even the pope, once and again, feels out of place, and even the princesses we dig need their own space, there is a place for everthing under the sun, even the girls way to big for bikinis still need a place under the sun,. . . . . . . . . . . (drunken bass tantrum). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . mother teresa dies of old age, but they did not bury her for many days, they carted her 'round in the indian heat, and you could tell by the mourners faces, she smelled worse than johny flynns feet, and how will this change my fickle world and how many summer chairs will fold before I know, and the even dreaded the paparazi needs its own space, even marv alberts kinky "yes" needs his own place, there is a place for everything under the sun, even the girls way to big for bikinis still have a place under the sun. . .



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conversion van at the end of the day there was nothing but love in our conversion van, until it started to rain and officer craley shined a flashlight in, he said hey kids you can't fuck here, he said hey kids you cant fuck here, no way. so we put on our clothes and decided to go to our to favorite crack house, and be bought some rock, drove around the block just wiggin out, but then it started to rain so we parked the van underneath a bridge, and what do you know, officer craley shined a flashlight in, he said hey kids you cant smoke here, he said you can't hit the crackpipe here, now way, so I opened the door real quick and hit him on his arthritic knees, and he doubled ove rso I kneed him in the face as quick as could be, then we drugged him,and tied him to the roof and parked him in a loading zone, and as we walked away it started to rain and we could hear him moan, he said hey kids you can't park here, he said hey kids you cant park here, no way. . . . .mmm	one big eyebrow (uni-brow) i've got one big eyebrow and you say you that don't like it, but you've got hairy nipples and i'm not too crazy about that either, i tell you what, i'll let you tweeze my eyebrow, if you let me wax your nipples. i've got fungus toenail and you hate feet in the first place, but you get them nasty yeast infections and i'm not down with that fungus either, i tell you what, if you paint my toenails, i will apply the gyna-lotramin. thank god we both got chronic halitosis so we hardly even notice, i've got the human papiloma virus and i haven't told you about it, but you've got genital herpes and i'm not privy to that info either, i tell you what, i'll wear these stupid condoms, if you keep getting headaches during outbreaks, thank god we both got hepititis c, cuz it's a serious disease, and i'd hate to think that one of us was guilty. . . wasn't me . . .
what's in the fridge (the masturbation song) well it's late at night and i'm not tired so i smoke myself a 'grit, my bedspread's tangled, my pillowcase's stained with spit, and i may be restless but i'm too lazy to take a walk, so i jerk it to baywatch and wipe it with a sock, oh woe is me i could have been someone, oh woe is me i should have been someone, cuz of out of many, many questions, all i come up with is, what's in the fridge, what's in the fridge, well it's half past three and i'm hungry but i'm pasted to my bed, my room smells like toe-cheese, my remote control just went dead, so now my tv is stuck on espn, but's women's beach volleyball so i spank it once again, oh woe is me, i could have been someone, oh woe is me i should have been someone , cuz out of many, many questions, all I come up with is, what's in the fridge, hope I got like half a quiznos in the fridge or something, well the sun comes creepin slowly and this infomercial hell turns to morning aerobics, so i figure hey, might as well, but then through the window, in my neighbor's house i see, old father shanley with his binoculars on me, oh woe is me, i could have been someone, oh woe is me, i could have been someone, cuz out of many, many questions, all i come up with is, what's in the fridge, what's in the fridge.	i need a job i need a job, i need a job, not no Fortune 500, just enough to get by, maybe get a nintendo and a new neck tie. i need a girl, i need a girl, i aint askin big bosoms, not no PHD mind, just a simple specimen will do just fine. big tits wouldn't hurt, unless she swung'em cross my face, and knocked me senseless, all over the place, guess it's just a chance i got to take. i need a vacation, a big fuckin vacation, maybe to barbados, or someplace like that, maybe i can burn off some of this fat. maybe not, but i'll still be tan, me and my big bosom lady, walkin through the sand, with a new nintendo and a couple grand. what a nifty plan, such a nifty plan.
summer of 97 princess diana, dies in paris, driver was drinking, the paparazzi on motorcyles buzzin around like flies in her face and it aint no co-inky the same thing happened to princess grace, and how will this change my fickle world, and how will i know? and how many summer chairs will fold before I know, they got a sandwich named afterthe pope, with polish kielbasa and slaw of the cole, comes with potato chips and a pickle and some shredded raddichio but you can't return it, it's infalible, and even the pope, once and again, feels out of place, and even the princesses we dig need their own space, there is a place for everthing under the sun, even the girls way to big for bikinis still need a place under the sun,. . . . . . . . . . . (drunken bass tantrum). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . mother teresa dies of old age, but they did not bury her for many days, they carted her 'round in the indian heat, and you could tell by the mourners faces, she smelled worse than johny flynns feet, and how will this change my fickle world and how many summer chairs will fold before I know, and the even dreaded the paparazi needs its own space, even marv alberts kinky "yes" needs his own place, there is a place for everything under the sun, even the girls way to big for bikinis still have a place under the sun. . .